Spiral
by Queen B. Rose
Summary: Steven is having a rough time coming to terms with what is going on. Maybe someone can shed some light into his darkness, or will his life spiral out of control. Loosely based off of Zach Callison's song: Interlude 4 - Showtime


_**Hello lovelies, i know i have other things to work on, buuuttt this came to me one day and i had to write this little snippet.**_

_**Not a song fic, but based off of this song: Interlude 4 - Showtime by Zach Callison...**_

_**Listen to it if you want the story to make sense. Disclaimer: I don't own Steven Universe or this song. Just my random thoughts...**_

_**Anyway enjoy!**_

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_**The downward spiral of the preverbal explosion of his mind. He couldn't shake the eeriness of it all, slowly ticking down… ever so slowly his decent into darkness. Everyday a constant attack on his psyche, ever since he was born, he always felt so… off…**_

**Tick…tock…tick…tock…tick…tock...tick…tock…tick…tock…**

**...**

"Ste… Steven… Steeeevveen" **Came the sing song voice followed by a light chuckle… or was it a cackle, he didn't know anymore…**

"Steeven…"

"Stop… leave me alone…" **He looks around frantically, knowing he wouldn't find anything**

"Come now Steven, we are finally free. We can enjoy our home and do as we please, it's just you and me now, come with me…"

"No!" **Eyes flashing as his pupils flicker**

"This… This isn't over, we aren't done. No, not yet…" **He shakes his head trying to clear his thoughts**

"Wha…What?" **she whispers confused**

_**He looked over his shoulder, gazing down at the lifeless lump in front of him. Staring numbly into the unblinking eyes, that he use to know so fondly. There in the dirt, covered in blood and flowers, the very same from **_**'her' **_**garden.**_

"lo…look at what we did!" **He cries desperately**

"He was just a kid… an innocent kid, he didn't ask for this, but because of you _I _killed him!"

"He knew what he was doing… you're everything he wanted, he gave everything to you. This is his own doing." **She sneers**

"No! That…That's not true and you know it!" **He sobs**

"All he wanted to do was be happy. He wanted to know more about mom and protect his friends and family. He didn't ask for this… I … I didn't ask for this… After all these years, all this… anger…pain…fear… it consumes me… Because of _'HER'_… He's gone because of _'YOU'!_" **He screams again, flickering a shade of pink**

"You're wrong…! I saved him from _HER_, I gave him a life I couldn't have. He was everything I wasn't and so much more… I even held him until his final moments… how could you say it was my fault?" **She spat**

**He scoffs,** "You didn't save him… you gave him a death wish. Because of you he lost his childhood, yeah…maybe he was better than you but, he inherited all your damn problems. You wanted to give him the world… all you gave him was baggage and lies. In the end you suffocated him, choking him out of his got damn mind!" **He yells**

"What… what do you want from me!" **She cries**

"IT'S _NOT_ ABOUT _YOU_!"** He roars, the ground cracking beneath his feet as he turns fully pink**

"That's what started this mess… you…you…you…!" **He rants**

"What about what I want, huh? What about Steven? Nobody seems to care about how I feel or what I need… and because of you I have to deal with _her_…"

**She concedes,** "Fine… if that is what you wish to do… I won't help you any further."

**Clicking his teeth, **"I'll be fine on my own… not like you were ever there for me to begin with."** Pulling out his shield, his eyes fully forms diamonds, replacing his sometime star pupils**

**She gasps **"No! Steven, stop! You don't need to…"

"Get out of my way… there is no use trying to stop me, I know what I need to do…" **He walks over to the edge of the cliff near the lighthouse, looking over Beach City.**

"Steven… please she's been gone for years. Leave her be…" **She pleads**

"I _CAN'T_ do that _Mother_…! Every time I see my reflection…I…I use to see you… now…all I see is _her_. Steadily rising to the surface, you know we both fear her and everything she's done to us. Rose…" **he sighs**

"You know we are one in the same, she scares us, we can't move forward because of her holding us back. We are afraid to be just like her, we can't even _say_ Pink Diamond, without having some type of emotional reaction. Because of her I'm no longer _ME!_" **He points down at the prone corpse**

"You're worse than Pearl… you wont even talk about all the bad things she's done. You hid it from us all…"

"Steven, no… I'm…I'm the one who made you do that…"

"So… are you the one to blame for this pain in my chest? This heartache that I can't place, this numb feeling whenever I think about you, or are you this anxiety I have when I think about my future?"

"No….!" **She screams**

"…No… You're right, it's all her, am I right? It's up to me to make things right, even if it means hurting those, I care about. The man I've become is a result of the boy that I killed."** His eyes darken**

"Steven… this isn't like you; you aren't one to hate others. You were made to love…"

"How would _YOU_ know, who _I_ am! _YOU_ weren't even here to _RAISE_ me!" **He thunders**

"She made a fool of both of us, how can you standby and do nothing. I must fix this… I must fix everything… Even if it means losing myself in the process."

**Defeated she replies,** "You're lost… Steven…I…"

"All these years my hatred was misplaced, now it has a target." **He gives a dry chuckle**

"All because of my _Mother_, the _great_ Rose Quarts…Well don't worry _Mother_, I'll make you proud of me. I'll do something even _you _failed to do. I will _Kill_ her once and for all…" **He smirks**

**...**

"Ste…Steven. Steven!"** She calls out**

_**Shaking his head once again, he looks around, noticing how dark it has gotten outside. **_

"Steven!" **she rings out**

_**He finally turns to the sound of her voice, running toward him was his longtime friend.**_

"Connie…" **He whispers, a troubled smile forms on his face as he grips his shirt near his heart...**

"Steven, I called you names numerous times, are…are you alright?"** looking at him with concern**

"I'm…I'm fine… I just have a lot going on up here. Its like my thoughts are going to war with each other or something."** He laughs**

**Watching him worriedly, **"Are… are you sure, is… is there anything you want to talk about? You know I'm always here for you Steven."

**Giving a genuine smile, he hugs his best friend**, "I'm fine Connie, please don't worry. Plus, I have it all figured out." **His eyes flashes pink, remaining so as he pulls out of their hug.**

_**She gasps….**_

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_**Hope you liked this short little ficlet... i promise I'm working on my other stories... :P**_


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